It’s been a long time since I’ve spoken about my battle with an eating disorder. I suffered from Binge Eating Disorder for many, many years. I am proud to have taken steps towards recovery and I honestly feel like a brand new person since starting recovering. BED is not just “overeating” or having one too many cookies. For me, it was abusing food and literally eating my feelings. Hoarding and hiding tons of food. Eating in private. Eating until I had shooting stomach pains and feeling like I was about to get sick. And then getting down on myself for what and how I had just ate, and eating even more. It was a vicious cycle. I hid this from my family, Kyle, and friends for so many years...And when my brother, Robert, was killed in 2012, you can imagine that my BED didn’t get better. It just got worse. When he died, I felt like my world was collapsing in on itself. My best friend was gone, just like that. It was my senior year of college, I was taking 6 courses, working an on-campus job, and networking for a post-graduation job. Needless to say, my life was stressful. When I felt the stress, I ate. When I felt sad and angry, I ate. When I felt down about my body and like I needed to lose weight, I ate. I turned to food because in a way, it was the one thing that never let me down; it was always good. I hadn’t discovered my passion for running so I didn’t know how else to deal with these feelings. Finding running was a HUGE turning point for me, but running itself didn’t fix everything. I did lose 25 lb in a healthy manner, but still suffered. I still used food as my comfort whenever I felt upset. Coming forward and reaching out for professional help in late 2017 was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I am in control of my eating. I am healthy. I am happier and my mind is in a much better place. I don’t think about food 24/7. I am proud of myself for admitting that I needed help because it was REALLY hard. I cried a lot. If you suffer from an eating disorder or think you may, know you’re not alone. There are so many people who genuinely want to help. I know asking for help isn’t easy, but it is so worth it and there’s nothing to be ashamed of💗
Monster of a track workout today with a side of bitter cold and blustery winds😈🏃🏼♀️Hit my paces and negative split them, AND the most important thing: the mental strength and confidence is coming back!🧠 After a solid long run over the weekend and now today, I’m feeling back in my groove😎 This was a huge workout and while I was a little nervous before starting, I focused on one rep at a time, which made it much more manageable.
Workout was:
1 mile warmup
Ladder x2: 200, 400, 800, 1000, 800, 400, 200 (Aka tons of laps🔁) 1 mile cool down
Tired legs but a happy heart💗 Easy miles tomorrow!
